Forsooth! National Poetry Slam poet Mike Shaeffer pitches a Shakespearean adaptation of Die Hard! Makeshift air vents, fire-hazard policies, and a budgetary cap on Twinkies rear their ugly, cream-filled heads as a desperate playwright navigates a Nakatomi Plaza of pitfalls and pentameter. Mike gets all meta, weaving sonnets and soliloquies for all the major players: Sgt. Powell, Takagi, Karl, Argyle, Holly, the villainous Hans Gruber, and Detective John McClane. Yippee kay-yay, muckle rucker!